By Jennifer Sawhney

As a reporter, some stories just stick with you. Jennifer Sawhney spoke to siblings Domenic Gizzi Jr., Joelle Whalen and Jihan Cerda after their father was struck and killed by a car while riding his bicycle along Ely Boulevard South in May 2025. When the Petaluma Voice team was thinking about how to cover Father's Day, Sawhney immediately thought of their story, one that traversed fatherhood, grief, and, she'd later discover, new life.

A little more than a year after the accident, Domenic Jr. and Joelle share memories of their dad and the lessons he taught them.

This will be your second Father’s Day without your dad. How have you continued to honor him?

Joelle: My dad’s passion was always, among many things, food. I think of him in the strangest, most mundane moments. Tonight I was at my friend's birthday party, with some of my dad’s best friends, and there was a taco bar. Instead of creating a normal taco, I made a good creation the same way he would have — layered beans with meat on a chip and stacked as tall as possible. I said “This is how we honor and remember my dad,” and everyone at the table knew exactly what I meant. It was a nice moment and finding humor and silliness in the mundane was always his skill and how I try to keep his memory alive.

Dom: I try to approach Father's Day and life in general the same way he would have. It would be easy to focus on the loss and think, "I should have had another 10 or 20 years with him." It would be easy to be angry, resentful, or dwell on what was taken away. Instead, I choose to be grateful. I was blessed to spend 45 years with him as both my father and my best friend, and I'm thankful for everything he and my mother taught me.

The best way I can honor my father is by honoring the values he lived by. I stay positive, keep my faith, and do my best to be a good person. I try to be funny but I don’t think I’ll ever be as funny as Big Dom. If I can live those values every day, then I know I'm honoring his legacy.

Can you share any words of wisdom from your father?

Joelle: He had many. The first ones that come to mind are "Think positive, have faith” and "Feed your faith and starve your fears.”

Dom: He would give nuggets of wisdom, but rarely the complete answer. Looking back, I think that was intentional because he wanted people to think for themselves and arrive at their own conclusions. Some of the quotes and lessons that have always stuck with me are: "If you are not giving, you are not living." "People will always remember the way you make them feel." "Worry is the thief of joy."

Dom, can you share a little bit about what it means to grieve the loss of a father as you welcome your first child?

Becoming a father was something my dad and I talked about since I was a child. It was one of my life goals, and beyond that, I always hoped my children would have a close relationship with my parents.

One of the most emotional days of my life was the day of my father's memorial service. That morning, before heading to the church, my wife and I were at the hospital for the first ultrasound. It was the first time we heard our baby's heartbeat. An hour later, we were at the church service, where I read the eulogy I prepared. Experiencing both of those moments on the same day, one representing new life and the other loss, felt monumental. It was a powerful reminder that joy and grief can exist side by side.

Now that our daughter is here, it's a whole lot of joy mixed with a little heartbreak. The happiest moments of becoming a father are sometimes accompanied by the realization that my dad isn't here to experience them with me. There are many times when I instinctively want to call him, ask his advice, or tell him and laugh about something my daughter did.

In many ways, becoming a father while grieving the loss of my own has made me appreciate both relationships even more. It has strengthened my faith, deepened my gratitude, and while the people we love may not always be with us physically, their influence continues through the lives they touched and the values they passed on.

How is fatherhood different from or similar to what you imagined it to be?

There are parts of fatherhood that are exactly what my parents always told me they would be. My mom and dad used to say that once your child is born, you will finally understand a “different kind of love.” I always believed there were different types of love – for your spouse, your parents, siblings, family, friends, etc. Now I understand the love you have for your child. It's deeper and more powerful than I imagined, and honestly, it's difficult to put into words.

One thing that has surprised me is how much becoming a father has changed the way I look at my own parents, my sisters and their husbands, and our friends who are parents. I find myself appreciating their sacrifices, patience, and unconditional love in a completely different way than before. There are moments when I look at my daughter and realize that my parents felt that same love for me. It has given me an even greater appreciation for the way my mom and dad raised me and the values they worked so hard to instill in me.

How did your dad influence how you approach fatherhood?

I want my daughter to grow up with the same values my parents taught my sisters and I: respect, accountability, forgiveness, faith, patience, the importance of family, and having a sense of humor.

My dad's influence on the importance of faith in God and maintaining a positive attitude has helped me more than anything through the grieving process, which was something he and I discussed regularly. Four principles in particular have been vital: have faith, maintain a positive attitude, have no worries, and have no fears. Those have carried me through some of the most difficult moments of my life, including this loss, and they are lessons I hope to pass on to my daughter, just as he passed them on to me.

This conversation has been lightly edited for clarity and readability.